The Four Horsemen (of the Apocalypse in relationships)

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in relationships—criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling—are destructive communication patterns identified by Dr. John Gottman. Criticism involves attacking a partner’s character; contempt is showing disdain or disrespect. Defensiveness deflects blame and avoids accountability, while stonewalling involves withdrawing emotionally and refusing to engage. These behaviors erode trust and intimacy over time, often leading to breakup or divorce if unaddressed. Recognizing and replacing them with healthier communication strategies can help couples build resilience and foster a more positive, understanding relationship.